SERMON: Prov. 23:3-7. The Christian Household
IntroductionWhy are we returning to the subject of home and family life again?
There are a few reasons:
1. family and married life is troubled in our time;
2. family and married life is confused as to what they are, Biblical definitions etc;
3. if you are a family you spend much of each day as a family;
4. As you live out the faith at home, you are doing so as the Kingdom of God, the people of God and the Church of Jesus Christ.

Building a Home
vv3-7. By wisdom a house is built,/ and by understanding it is established;
by knowledge the rooms are filled/ with all precious and pleasant riches.

The proverbs here are about building and establishing a house, a household, a home and therefore a family.
But it is a house that is being built and established. There aren’t separate words in Hebrew for “household”, “home” or “house”. There is basically one word: house. So there isn’t a big distinction between your home, household and house – they are all bound up together.

When you think about it, we do tie these closely together: home = people+place. Because when you rent a cottage in the country for a week in the summer, you don’t move home, you are away from home. Home is home when you are not there. When we think about home are we are talking about a place, not an idea.

What does an established “house” mean?
In Proverbs 9 this points us to the House of Lady Wisdom, v the seduction of Madame Folly(chap 7). The competition of two households:-

1. Wisdom has built her house;
she has hewn her seven pillars.
2She has slaughtered her beasts; she has mixed her wine;
she has also set her table.
3She has sent out her young women to call
from the highest places in the town,
4 "Whoever is simple, let him turn in here!"
To him who lacks sense she says,
5"Come, eat of my bread
and drink of the wine I have mixed.
6Leave your simple ways, and live,
and walk in the way of insight."
7Whoever corrects a scoffer gets himself abuse,
and he who reproves a wicked man incurs injury.
8 Do not reprove a scoffer, or he will hate you;
reprove a wise man, and he will love you.
9Give instruction to a wise man, and he will be still wiser;/ teach a righteous man, and he will increase in learning.

What is Lady Wisdom’s household like?
1. it is built and established v1– it is stable and ordered according to Wisdom, i.e. Biblical teaching.
2. it is hospitable and open (vv2-5)- the purpose of being established is to serve those outside the household. The Christian household reflects the invitation of the Household of God in the gospel.
3. it is place of instruction, wisdom and correction (vv6-9).

But there is a warning…
14:1. The wisest of women builds her house,/ but folly with her own hands tears it down.
Why does Solomon place the wife/woman in such a key position? Why not mention both husbands and wives?
C. F. Kiel: “A wise mother can, if her husband be dead or neglectful in his duty, always keep the house together; but if the housewife has neither understanding nor goodwill for her calling, then the best will of the house-father cannot hinder the desolation of the house...” (1: 289)

So as wives you are so crucial and central to the well-ordering of your home and family life, you have a great power for good, or otherwise.
So the question is: what kind of home, culture, place are you building and establishing?
What are the things that you must build with to make a stable household?

1. A clear determination to seek Wisdom and Understanding.
We have said before that these words are not merely intellectual categories – they are concerned with taking the fear of the LORD and applying it to life.
It is these things that enrich the home: v4 ..by knowledge the rooms are filled/ with all precious and pleasant riches.

• In our culture people are spending more time and effort on elaborate weddings, and less and less on a lasting marriage;
• In our culture we are obsessed with decorating and furnishing, but then will fill the place with folly, rebellion, discord and neglect.

This is pivotal to establishing a solid and stable home, life and marriage.

vv5-6. A wise man is full of strength,/ and a man of knowledge enhances his might,
for by wise guidance you can wage your war,/ and in abundance of counsellors there is victory.
Whilst this is a different topic, do you see how it works: wisdom strengthens, counsellors (i.e. advice and fellowship) brings “victory”.

You are aiming to think like a Christian in everything you do. Because you have set wisdom and understanding, knowledge and insight as clear goals for you and your family.
What would have to go, to stop, to cease to achieve that?

2. This means teaching and instruction.
Your home cannot be established on ignorance and an uninformed “love”. You need more than hugs.
Our culture is telling you that you don’t need to think you just need to feel. The hearts wants to lead the head. You need to learn how to think like a Christian in everything.

Fathers and mothers therefore need to lead shape and form their households through instruction:-
1. as family at worship on Sunday;
2. daily in family bible reading and discussion;
3. dinner table conversations that build up;
4. in everyday things and to every day things.

What does an untaught person look like?
v7. Wisdom is too high for a fool;/ in the gate he does not open his mouth.
Wisdom is just out of reach for a fool. He does not even try to attain to it.
The gate is where the elders sit and judge the hard cases, but the fool is not fit to become a wise counsellor.

Learning, instruction and wisdom set the tone, through Bible instruction, good conversation, the books v. entertainment culture. The music? What sets the tone in your house?

3. Your “house” means we are building a culture at home.
But what kind of culture? Is it a wisdom-centred culture?
- Are you selective? Do you make choices or do you flow? Is it TV-centred?

The relationships are right:
• Husbands, are you loving your wife?
• Wives are you are respecting and honouring your husband?
• Children are you loving and obeying your parents?
• Parents are you clear in the love and discipline of your children?

Are you active and decisive in shaping and setting direction for your family? Or do you operate passively?
Conclusion
What kind of household are you building and establishing? What is it like? What could it be like? What does God want it to be like?